Hi there Reader!
You know when you have a toddler or preschooler who is at their limit and is having a major breakdown in the middle of a store?
That was me a couple weeks ago…
My three lively kiddos and I were breezing into a store to grab literally five or six things and happened to walk by the Father’s Day cards, to which I told them they could pick one to collectively give Dad and we could make him cards at home too if they wanted to give him more.
By the time my three y.o. realized she couldn’t get the “baby beluga” card for him also (the other kids had already eliminated and come to an agreement and were trying to convince her), it was too late. I’m not kidding when I tell you, you could probably hear her screaming tantrum at the front of the store…and we were clear at the back of one of those big box stores.
We only had one other thing to get and one of the things we had picked up already I couldn’t get at the store in our town, so I was not committed to giving up on what we had in the cart already. I thought I could just tolerate her tantrum and quickly get out of the store.
WRONG.
It was quite the show we gave the other customers at the self-checkout because the issue then became Lu being upset because she wasn’t scanning the things even after we invited her to, then the one last thing (toothpaste) that needed to be scanned, she wouldn’t give up, scan herself or let anyone else scan it in her hands.
At this point she’s lying on the floor kicking and screaming and I’m holding back tears and the staff person is also supporting me and trying to convince Lulu to scan the toothpaste. Meanwhile, Lulu resorted to calling the lovely staff person a “dummy” and kicking her. 🤦♀️
#FailingAsAParent
In that moment, not only was my 3 y.o.’s brain & body completely dysregulated (although she was letting the energy move through her so she could come to a more regulated state at some point), but my brain and nervous system were on their way there as well.
I didn’t even think of all the tools we have used with Lulu over the years to help her regulate because I was so focused on getting the things we needed, getting out of the store quickly and getting on to our next stop before lunch.
So. Many. Things. I would do differently now that I’m distanced from that experience.
What I really needed was a “Vibe Care” toolkit for my toddler. My husband and I have talked about something like this quite a while for helping Lulu when she gets so dysfunctional because of something that triggers a deep emotional response in her, but we’ve never sat down and created it.
It would be a simple as a list of techniques we use with her to help her regulate. By not making it a priority to actually write out this list, I’ve trusted my brain to just remember.
My brain that is already full of a lot of stuff, and when in a mounting emotional situation with a preschooler doesn’t always perform at it’s best.
Can you relate? 🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️
Are there times in your life when you feel so overwhelmed that you forget all the practices and things you know help you feel calm and clear and in your best self?
If you layer ADHD on that, I can only imagine it would feel nearly impossible to feel expansive and successful in life.
And that’s why Tracy Nolin Beerman of Vision Driven Mom with ADHD created the Vibe Care Toolkit.
She knows that when you have ADHD you feel so much of life in your body through your senses, outside rhythms and your own personal rhythms that it often causes you to get distracted in your own head and over-analyze, over-think or get overwhelmed with life.
When this happens you need reminders to come back down into your body and feel grounded again and continue to move towards the vision that you have for your life and how you want to feel in life.
Tracy is an expert in helping moms with ADHD declutter their minds and forge an empowered path forward through her powerful workshops, courses, programs and the Vision Driven Mom With ADHD podcast, even if they have a million other things in their brilliant, unique minds.
In this week’s podcast episode she gives us some tips on how to do just that AND how to create a Vibe Care toolkit for ourselves (and possibly even that toddler or preschooler) so that we can come back to ourselves when we need to reel it in a bit.
Let me bring it back to something I mentioned earlier about Lulu letting the energy move through her. When little kids throw tantrums, it’s their body’s instinctual way of regulating their nervous system by getting rid of the energy that wants out.
We need productive ways to do that as adults as well, but far too often we don’t allow ourselves those methods. We stuff the feelings down or ignore them. Part of what working with a coach can do is help you identify those areas that you need support or guidance in to identify and create tools and practices for you to be feeling your best more of the time. It’s OK to need support from others, that’s something we never grow out of.
Helping you find and use the rhythms in you and around you!
Cheers,
Cathy