#44: So You’re Feeling Inadequate
When you start down the path of living more intentionally to avoid burnout, it can be tough to shed things that have felt so “normal” for so long. Like the hustle to “keep up with the Jones’s.”
Comparison equals inadequacy plus burnout…no matter what.
Trying to keep up with the neighbors down the street can make you feel better in the moment, but ultimately leaves you feeling depleted and inadequate. As though you’re still not doing enough because they keep moving forward and you still feel like you’re floundering in some area(s) of your life.
And when you make the conscious choice to begin to live more intentionally in the present moment, you actually start to shed some of those beliefs that you have to “have it all” or be at a certain place in life by a certain age. But you will still naturally go through some periods of doubt. You’re unlearning a way of living that has been ingrained in you from a very young age.
There can be urges to try harder even when you know your body wants to slow down. You can feel super inadequate at times because the world around you isn’t necessarily slowing down…but you have made the conscious choice, set the intention even, to begin to use another source for informing your life instead of comparison.
Your Inner Guidance Knows the Truth
That source being your inner guidance–the higher knowing or voice of God within you calling you to act. See, comparison only breeds anxiety and more feelings of inadequacy, which in turn, pushes you to expend more energy, and leaves you feeling even more exhausted, moving you closer to burnout.
Yet it’s inevitable that you’ll have these moments of feeling like you’re not doing enough, or like you “should” be farther along that you already are.
Here’s How I Know You’ll Feel This Way
Recently I messaged a friend near the end of the work day that I was having a moment of feeling inadequate and needed confirmation that I was not.
This friend is also a client and one of her first responses to me was “What phase of your cycle are you in?” To which my response was “I know, I know. Luteal.”
Friend: “And how do I know that?”
Friend: “I rest my case.”
I was feeling inadequate because I had been comparing myself not only to others, but to the me who didn’t have 3 kids yet.
The me who thought I needed to do all the things in order to be successful.
The me who wanted to do all those things and was driven by taking action all the time.
Taking Action Isn’t Always the Answer
There is a time and place for taking action, but it doesn’t have to be all. the. time. Yet when you are still unlearning that, your primitive brain forgets sometimes that that’s not the way to actually be the most productive. And sometimes it takes being reminded by someone outside of yourself that you are enough even when you aren’t going in a million different directions or doing a million different things.
I’m still learning this way of living too!
I’ve been gradually slowing down for years and becoming more intentional, but still get the feelings of not doing or being enough at times.
So I reach out or I sit and journal or sit and just be still and alone with my thoughts. And when I do, I’m reminded of the truth. But, friend, it’s still hard when you are going a different path than others around you.
Know Your Why
So know what your priorities are and why you are choosing to live life differently so that when these feelings do come up, you’re ready to shoot them down.
Oh, and about knowing where I was in my cycle…that’s because there are key characteristics or traits associated with each phase of your cycle that you can use to begin to combat those feelings before they happen or when they do happen. You can learn them by beginning to track your own cycle and energetic rhythms.
And when you begin tracking your rhythms, you can start to anticipate these times when you’re more likely to feel inadequate so you can have a plan to combat them.
For now, know that I believe you are enough exactly as you are right now…and so you are.
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